<?php
/**
 * <https://y.st./>
 * Copyright © 2017 Alex Yst <mailto:copyright@y.st>
 * 
 * This program is free software: you can redistribute it and/or modify
 * it under the terms of the GNU General Public License as published by
 * the Free Software Foundation, either version 3 of the License, or
 * (at your option) any later version.
 * 
 * This program is distributed in the hope that it will be useful,
 * but WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY; without even the implied warranty of
 * MERCHANTABILITY or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. See the
 * GNU General Public License for more details.
 * 
 * You should have received a copy of the GNU General Public License
 * along with this program. If not, see <https://www.gnu.org./licenses/>.
**/

$xhtml = array(
	'title' => 'It&apos;s a bloody instinct!',
	'body' => <<<END
<section id="general">
	<h2>General news</h2>
	<p>
		I don&apos;t know what the deal is, but <a href="/en/domains/morgan.local.xhtml"><code>morgan</code></a> seems to be slower at some tasks than <a href="/en/domains/newdawn.local.xhtml"><code>newdawn</code></a>, but faster at others.
		For example, Geany runs slower on <code>morgan</code>.
		I had to turn down some of Geany&apos;s settings to make in manageable.
		<code>morgan</code> also initiates Debian slower.
		However, my website&apos;s build script is noticeably faster on <code>morgan</code>.
		It&apos;s not in my head, either.
		It had gotten so slow on <code>newdawn</code> because I add at least one new page each day, and every time, every page must be compiled in case it has changed since last time.
		I finally added a timer to the script that, upon completion, would report how long the script had needed to run.
		The script is down below half its former runtime now that it&apos;s on this new machine.
	</p>
	<p>
		I&apos;ve never understood why women enthusiastically allow themselves to be impregnated.
		The thought of feeling something squirming around inside me almost horrifies me.
		But many women actively seek this!
		Multiple times, even!
		I finally get it now though.
		It&apos;s a bloody instinct!
		In the days of birth control, women that don&apos;t want to have a human parasite in their wombs have easy ways to avoid it.
		This would quickly lead to a formation of the instinct.
		The male half of the population wouldn&apos;t have to be recessive carriers of this instinct to breed, but the women would breed more often if they had it.
		They&apos;d pass it to half their children, male or female, and it&apos;d end up in the male genes as well, making it easier to end up back in the female genes.
		Honestly though, I don&apos;t think birth control was involved in the formation of the instinct.
		People have know where babies have come from for millennia.
		There must be not only an instinct to have sex, but also to actively and intentionally create more people.
		I seem to lack this instinct at the moment, and I desperately hope that it remains that way.
		Creating more people in a world that&apos;s already overpopulated is wrong.
		Furthermore, every child created is a person that will one day die.
		When you create more people, you are sentencing them to death for something they didn&apos;t even choose.
		I think it&apos;s stupid to want a life partner, but I&apos;m going along with that instinct and putting in an honest effort to find one because, as stupid as it is, at least it&apos;s not ethically deplorable to waste your life with a partner, making the two of you both happy.
		However, if this child-creation instinct ever shows up in me, I&apos;m going to have an ethical obligation to fight it, even if it makes me miserable in the process.
	</p>
	<p>
		My <a href="/a/canary.txt">canary</a> still sings the tune of freedom and transparency.
	</p>
</section>
<section id="mental">
	<h2>Mental health watch</h2>
	<p>
		It feels like the more I accept my sexuality, the more it gets out of my face.
		I&apos;m no longer seeing almost half the population as being at least somewhat sexy.
		I&apos;ve gone back to being able to just see them as people.
		I&apos;m not really yearning for a partner, cuddling, or sex any more either, nor am I lamenting over the fact that I likely won&apos;t have the former for long at a time or the latter ever.
		I feel more balanced and mentally stable than I have for a while.
		I guess my brain really wanted to get through to me what I am, and because it has, it&apos;s letting things go mostly back to normal.
		There is at least one minor issue though: the frequent thoughts about sex.
		I may not be yearning for it any more, but it&apos;s still constantly on my mind.
		I didn&apos;t have these thoughts before, and I don&apos;t like them.
		I guess they&apos;re fine when taken out of context, but when you account for the fact that they mean I&apos;m not thinking about something more important or interesting, they&apos;re actually a bit annoying.
	</p>
	<p>
		I guess when I was in high school, and maybe when I was in middle school, maybe some part of me knew I was gay.
		Looking back, I thought I was asexual, but I also thought that if I did have a sexuality, I&apos;d be into my own sex.
		Back then, my logic was that I would want someone that I could understand and who could understand me.
		I thought that girls&apos; minds worked too differently from boys&apos; minds, so compatibility issues would be a constant source of strife and misunderstandings.
		Later on, I sort of started rejecting the differences, believing them to be a product of nurture, not nature.
		At that point, I thought if I had a sexuality, I&apos;d be bi, but of course, I still thought I&apos;d never have a sexuality, so it was just a random thought that came up every once in a while.
		Of course, it turns out for most people, gender isn&apos;t learned after all, so that puts me right back where I initially started.
	</p>
</section>
<section id="university">
	<h2>University life</h2>
	<p>
		The school sent me notice that they&apos;re accepting payments for this term now.
		Y&apos;know, if they accepted payments right away, I&apos;d pay as soon as I enrolled in a course.
		Anyway, it looks like I&apos;ll be headed to the credit union for a cashier&apos;s cheque tomorrow.
		After thinking about it, I realised this is the first time I&apos;ll be able to pay for my courses under my own name.
		That thought made me smile.
	</p>
</section>
END
);
